Ever wrestled thoughts about losing, feeling discomfort or being stuck in a situation? You're not alone! This episode is a candid exploration of how our mindset influences these situations and steers personal growth. Listen in for our hard-earned lessons on turning trials into learning opportunities. Discover the surprising role discomfort plays in signaling growth and how defining success on your own terms and setting goals take you steps closer to progress. Let us take you down memory lane where an obsession with winning almost clouded our bigger objectives, but we emerged wiser.
The episode further delves into two poignant stories that underline the power of actions and teamwork. We recount incidents where deflating an ego cost us dearly and a time when we fell short in supporting a struggling teammate. These compelling narratives shine a light on our journey and the lessons learned on making mindful choices and showing empathy. As we navigate forward, we delve into the realm of relationships and the pivotal role of progress and gratitude in personal growth. Join us, and let's embark on this enlightening journey of self-discovery and personal growth together.
Ever wrestled thoughts about losing, feeling discomfort or being stuck in a situation? You're not alone! This episode is a candid exploration of how our mindset influences these situations and steers personal growth. Listen in for our hard-earned lessons on turning trials into learning opportunities. Discover the surprising role discomfort plays in signaling growth and how defining success on your own terms and setting goals take you steps closer to progress. Let us take you down memory lane where an obsession with winning almost clouded our bigger objectives, but we emerged wiser.
The episode further delves into two poignant stories that underline the power of actions and teamwork. We recount incidents where deflating an ego cost us dearly and a time when we fell short in supporting a struggling teammate. These compelling narratives shine a light on our journey and the lessons learned on making mindful choices and showing empathy. As we navigate forward, we delve into the realm of relationships and the pivotal role of progress and gratitude in personal growth. Join us, and let's embark on this enlightening journey of self-discovery and personal growth together.
One of the best lessons I've learned in my lifetime is that attitude is everything and that mindset determines the path in which we follow. Our mindset can be our greatest downfall or it can be an asset that we continuously experience success and an elevation of human experiences because we have a positive mindset. This journey of life does not mean that because we're good people, bad things won't happen to us, or because we do the right thing, everything will work out every single time. But if you have a positive mindset, bad things will happen. However, you will be able to overcome those difficult times and you can turn that L into a W.
Speaker 1:
Not every situation that we're dealt is ideal, but there's always a lesson to learn if we're able to pay attention to what it is that is going on. We often focus on the situation at hand, but rarely do we look at how we ended up in those situations in the first place. Nothing in this life is set, except for death and taxes. Every situation presents itself an opportunity, an opportunity to learn, and so long as you're learning, you've not really lost anything. Now there are times where maybe you invest and you find out that, hey, I'm not really good at this, and the next time you invest, maybe you decide to go to a brokerage, a stock broker that has experience, you know. Maybe you know the stock broker isn't for you, but it's what you do with your experience that counts. Knowledge means nothing if you don't utilize it. It is the application of knowledge that really defines if you win or if you lose. However, the mindset that, yes, the situation sucks, however, I'm going to get through this. Or, you know, you tell someone else that hey, listen, I know you're going through this bad time, this rough time, and things aren't ideal. You can get through this. I'm going to cheer you on, I'm here for you. Life is what you make of it. Lemons I'm going to sound cliche for a moment. Lemons and limes are sour by nature. However, a lot of people still love lemonade and they love limeade. Right, it's what we did with the limes and the lemons that defined that sweetness, right? So we turned something that was not ideal for our taste buds and we made it into something that was appealing to both our brain and our taste buds.
Speaker 1:
You know, as people, we have to get in the habit of being uncomfortable. Uncomfortable means that we're growing If everything is stagnant and if nothing is changing in our lives and something is wrong. If we live in a world in which no one ever tells us that we need to improve and no one ever says we need to make changes in our lives, then we're being lied to, because we're not perfect and so long as we're alive, that process of growth is not finished. So are we learning? Are we maturing? Are we developing a mindset that dictates a trajectory of success? What is first defined? What success is to you? Write it down. What do you want out of life? Are you happy? Are you content? Do you feel fulfilled? If the answer is no to these things, are you evaluating where you are? And are you you know planning? How am I going to get to the next portion of my life in which this will only be a season and not be a lifetime experience? There was a season in my life in which I used to be the reason why I did not grow as fast as I should have been, and one of the reasons was primary reasons, where I was so caught up in always winning and what I was winning compared to what I was losing did not balance out by any measure. There is no metric in which that was success.
Speaker 1:
Now here's a little story. I remember when I switched, you know, martial arts gyms and this was years ago and the only person that knew my martial arts background was the instructor. And my first day there there was this guy, you know, he was a really cocky guy and he was from Jersey and he just talked a lot of trash. And so my instructor at the time had given me, you know, the layout of how things you know went and you know what, you know what we did on certain days. So Saturdays were sparring days and Wednesdays were grappling days and Mondays were striking days, things of that nature. That was the structure of how we performed.
Speaker 1:
So it was my first day, because this guy, you know, was talking, you know, all this trash, I decided that I was going to annihilate him. And so I annihilate, you know, if he wanted to spar and you know he would, you know, ask me, you know, various questions like oh, how long have you been doing this? And I said, well, I'm just learning, you know, and he wasn't very good, to say the least. And I remember, you know, I let him, you know, hit me a couple of times, you know, I let him take me down a couple of times. And the reason why I did this was because that Saturday I knew I was going to go against him for real and I wanted him to feel like he was going to, you know, win if we so happen to spar again. I wanted him to feel comfortable and be excited, that, like if he went against me, he knew with all certainty that he was going to win. And, of course, I never showed my hand throughout this entire process.
Speaker 1:
So that Saturday comes around and you know he says, hey, man, you know I like you. I, you know, want to give you another opportunity to go against me. You know, and you know, as you could really showcase, you know all the things that you have. It was your first day and you know, maybe you know, maybe you know you just need to get some rust off or whatever. And I was smiling because you know his girlfriend was there and you know there was a bunch of people there on Saturdays. Saturdays we had the most audience, you know, more people worked out than the typical, you know, during the week.
Speaker 1:
And so, while you know he decides to go against me, I immediately, from the start, I kicked him as hard as I could and as fast as I could, and then, you know, of course, threw a couple combos, took him down and then completely annihilated him. He didn't get one punch in. I felt on top of the world. I knew what I did in that situation. I knew that I purposefully chose to lose one battle so that I could completely annihilate my opponent in the war. My instructor immediately calls my name and says we're going to spar my instructor completely and utterly obliterates me. He gave me the beating of a lifetime because he knew what I did.
Speaker 1:
The lesson I got from that butt whooping was it's not about what other people say. It's about what we do and the choices that we make with the situations that we're in. I could have been fair, I could have been open and honest about my experience, but I chose to let someone's ego determine my actions and I chose a path that again it put me back. So the perception that I created of myself was this person that no one really could figure out, and people fear what they don't understand. So it took a while for me to have camaraderie. It took a while for me to be a proper teammate in that environment. It did happen over time. However, if I had showed my cards from the beginning and if I was transparent in the beginning, I wouldn't have to go through that process of earning my teammate's trust.
Speaker 1:
There was another incident in which we had a group project, and this was my senior year of high school and Google Docs was the bee's needs at the time. I absolutely loved Google Docs because a group project would show the percentage of work that each individual completed, their contributions. Everything was time stamped and what have you? One of our teammates for this group project didn't do their part and, of course, I opted for Google Docs because I knew that, the grand scheme of things, our teacher would see exactly what everyone did, the percentage that they did their contributions, how often they logged on. Everything was time stamped.
Speaker 1:
As I said, however, it was time to present and that one person couldn't articulate what they did, we let that person fail and throughout the process, yes, we could have been more vigilant and said, hey, what's going on? Hey, you're not doing your part. We literally abandoned the person the moment they stopped communicating. We didn't reach out because we were like, oh, we did our best, we tried. We shouldn't have to tell another person to do their fair share, because it was already outlined for them what they were supposed to do and the research and all of that. However, we're still a team.
Speaker 1:
We didn't seek to understand, and I was the main reason why the group didn't seek to understand. We were very cutthroat with that person and a part of the reason why the person didn't contribute was because they didn't feel like they were a part of the team, even though we're expressing ideas. We kind of made them the odd person out and so they would rather get an F than to put forth effort into the group, because they felt unwanted Even though we did the work. We were the villain and we had to own that. And we had to rectify that situation and learn from it, because sometimes when we do certain things, we think that it's justified and we think that the actions of another person makes them the villain and again we're not assessing the situation and seeing how our actions have impacted another person's mood or their experience, and we don't always know what's going on in a person's life. So that's not fair to them if they weren't given a fair shot. So I've learned to be uncomfortable when things are shaky.
Speaker 1:
I now ask questions, I now seek to understand, I now try a level headed approach and not the cutthroat approach where it lacks humanity. It's not always about getting to the finish line, it's also how we get to it. Our actions matter, our words matter, and how we treat each other matters. We never know how things are going to turn out in the long run. How is our actions going to scar someone? What wounds are we going to create based on the things that we've said, based on the things that we haven't said when we should have said them? We don't know. All we have is right now. So we have to make it count. We have to do what is right. So have a mindset of openness, have a mindset of forgiveness, have a mindset of grace.
Speaker 1:
I think grace is a word that I never truly liked before. I thought grace was a word of weakness, but recently and in recent years, I've learned that grace is a very profound word. It's a word that shows what true humanity is and what true good and kindness really is. Grace is just because someone didn't do their part, it doesn't mean that I'm not going to do my part. Just because someone did something wrong, it doesn't mean I'm not going to do what is right. Grace is sometimes you just have to let a person be the bad guy and then start over. It's not always our place to react. This is our place to just be still and be calm and just be like water. Just let it flow, let that negative energy, whatever just let it flow on by.
Speaker 1:
Over the past year, I have never felt more free. I have learned to detach from so many things that I have come to understand that they were holding me back. As a person father, husband I've been on this emotional high. I've been on this flow that I don't think it's going to end. If it does end, it's not going to end anytime soon. The thriving in positivity and cutting certain individuals off that are negative or always. They just don't know how to just see the good in something or see the light or see the positives. They don't know how to appreciate your time. Letting go of those people was one of the best things that I've done, because the more people that I've let go is the more I've gained for myself. I've finally been able to really know more about myself than I ever have before because I don't have those distractions. That's a very freeing feeling to know that.
Speaker 1:
Oh, I'm sad. Here's why I'm sad. I've armed depressor and a funk. It is easily changed because I have the time. I'm not being pulled in 35 different directions by people who aren't well meaning for my life. I can pinpoint what I need to do to correct whatever is going wrong. I've surrounded myself by positive people and we all feed off of that. We can't get something from nothing. We can have an exponential growth because you're exponentially surrounding yourself by people who are building you up and you are also, in turn, building them up as well. There's reciprocity, there's kindness in that. There is true love in those situations. That is what I've chosen for myself.
Speaker 1:
When I'm hanging out with my son or my daughter or my wife, it's like that never ended. My day could have not been ideal. I don't say I have a bad day. My day was not ideal, but it's still a great day because there's still more to experience in that 24 hour cycle. There's so much to be learned, there's so much to be gained. It's what you do with your energy and time that really matters. I just want to have a mindset of being free, a mindset of being positive, a mindset of grace, so that I could always see the silver lining, see the light and keep moving forward.
Speaker 1:
If something isn't moving you forward, it's holding you back. You can't look forwards and backwards at the same time. You have to choose. If you keep looking back while moving forward, your progress is going to be really, really slow. You have to make the decision to have a mindset of someone that is willing to do what is necessary for them to be where they need to be. It's not fun, it's uncomfortable, but, as I've said before, going to the gym isn't fun, running isn't fun, broccoli isn't fun, but it's good for you.
Speaker 1:
Oftentimes, the things that make us so uncomfortable, it's what's good for us. If you're a person that's not single, think about how intimidating it is to just look in your spouse's eyes, just look into their eyes, the person that you sleep next to, the person that means the most to you, when you hold their hand and just look into their eyes and stare in silence. That is such an intimidating feeling. And this is the person that you love the most, the person that you see the most. But how often do you take the time to just look into their eyes? You'll see that uncomfortable truth of I feel naked. But if you were to do that more, just to stand in silence just for 30 seconds. Look into your partner's eyes. See what that would do for your relationship. It's like staring to someone's soul and they're staring right back, and while you're doing this, you're completely and utterly afraid, and this is the person that you love. Why do we feel that way? Why do we feel uncomfortable? It's uncomfortable because it's real. It's uncomfortable because it's good for us. It's like broccoli.
Speaker 1:
We may not all have great days, but it doesn't mean that it is a bad day. So long as you're alive, remember that you have the gift of life. You have the gift of right now, and right now is all that you need. Right now is all that matters. Money may not all have a silver spoon, money may not be flowing like you wish it would, but life is the most precious thing that you have and time is the most valuable resource that you have. No matter what the situation is, have a mindset and attitude of gratitude. Live to be a better version of yourself. With each passing day, learn to love more, learn to say thank you, learn to say I love you, learn to say I am sorry and learn to say sometimes I may not have it all together, but I'm putting the pieces together slowly. I may not know fully who I am, but I'm learning more about who I am each day. I may not have all the things that I need or all the things that I want, but I'm alive. That's gift enough, and you are enough.