Ever felt like you're often too hard on yourself? Constantly blaming yourself for every mistake you've made? Join us in this episode where we explore the transformative power of forgiveness and reveal why it is the key to emotional liberation. Born out of personal experiences and trials, we dive into the depths of self-acceptance, emphasizing that your life is an unwritten book, and the pen is in your hand.
Through our heartfelt conversation, we unpack how resentment and unforgiveness can negatively affect our emotional wellbeing and relationships, leading to unnecessary heartache. We reflect on the importance of separating hurt from taking things personally and we grant you the tools to liberate yourself from the shackles of others' control. Moving on to a more personal note, we share our journeys of battling bullying, fostering self-confidence, and overcoming insecurities, lessons we believe have the power to uplift and inspire you.
As we conclude this episode, we dwell on the significance of self-forgiveness and personal growth. We take you through our transformation stories, from being the 'good kid' to the 'bad guy' and finally to the 'good guy' again. Hear how holding on to resentment and anger for too long took a toll on our emotional and mental wellbeing, and how we came out stronger by staying true to ourselves. So, tune in, and let's walk this path of healing, growth, and self-discovery together.
Ever felt like you're often too hard on yourself? Constantly blaming yourself for every mistake you've made? Join us in this episode where we explore the transformative power of forgiveness and reveal why it is the key to emotional liberation. Born out of personal experiences and trials, we dive into the depths of self-acceptance, emphasizing that your life is an unwritten book, and the pen is in your hand.
Through our heartfelt conversation, we unpack how resentment and unforgiveness can negatively affect our emotional wellbeing and relationships, leading to unnecessary heartache. We reflect on the importance of separating hurt from taking things personally and we grant you the tools to liberate yourself from the shackles of others' control. Moving on to a more personal note, we share our journeys of battling bullying, fostering self-confidence, and overcoming insecurities, lessons we believe have the power to uplift and inspire you.
As we conclude this episode, we dwell on the significance of self-forgiveness and personal growth. We take you through our transformation stories, from being the 'good kid' to the 'bad guy' and finally to the 'good guy' again. Hear how holding on to resentment and anger for too long took a toll on our emotional and mental wellbeing, and how we came out stronger by staying true to ourselves. So, tune in, and let's walk this path of healing, growth, and self-discovery together.
Hello Magnificent Ones. Tonight's episode is titled the Healing Power of Forgiveness. We're not always the protagonist of life story. Sometimes we're the antagonist, and that's okay. You know, our book of life is not yet written. It's not finished. So long as we're alive, we always have the opportunity to go back and rewrite certain chapters in this book of life. We're not perfect people and that's important. You know so many of us. We practice forgiving others, but how often do we practice forgiving ourselves? And that is something that I want to dive into tonight is the essence of self-healing and the essence of moving on. But before I get to that, I would like to share something with everyone.
Speaker 1:
Initially, when I set out to start this podcast, I really wanted to discuss topics such as, you know, entertainment things, you know current events and politics and I mean, I have a degree in political science and international affairs, so politics is my strong suit and analyzing you know various things in international news. It's very easy, because I've lived that life for so long that it's like any other skill. If someone is a writer and you ask them to write, maybe they don't have difficulties with it because that's their strong suit. So as I began to do this, this podcast. More and more I realized the format that I had initially started out with. It was my strong suit, you know, because every episode was already outlined. You know, almost like a script, like the perfect script. I didn't have to worry about you know the topic so much because, at the end of the day, already had the written material that I needed to carry on. You know my subject matter and that's easy.
Speaker 1:
The more I did the podcast is, the more I realized that there is a problem with this world of ours, with outreach culture, with this life. You know, you turn on the TV and it's left versus right, men versus women, race versus race, and there's just so much tension in the world right now that politics was not always a part of our life and now politics determines the places we go, who we hang out with, and I just don't want to feed into that. There's so much more value in talking about real things, real feelings and the human experience. I didn't always had that viewpoint until I started. You know, just doing the random episodes and not going with the script. And not going with the script is absolutely terrifying, of course, because you have no safety net. You're going not knowing what reactions you're going to get. You're being vulnerable and there's a level of fear that comes in always because you don't want to be judged for how you feel. But there's so much peace in that. There's so much peace in facing your fears, whether it's public speaking or just voicing your truth, and I'd rather create a situation in which I can build more bridges than tearing them down.
Speaker 1:
I want to connect with other humans and have true human experiences in this life before my time is up. I want my legacy to be a person that shows, to use as time to form bonds and make memories, and that is the true essence of being human is that it doesn't matter what someone else believes, because that's what makes them human. I believe in linear things, I believe in mathematical things for the most part, but at the same time, the person that is super creative, that is artsy and late for everything that is extremely right brain, there's a value and a beauty in their way of thinking and I love that about life. I love the diversity of ideas. I also love the things that makes us who we are.
Speaker 1:
There's a pain in our past sometimes that, regardless of how we process the world around us, that pain we share equally, and it gets lost in the translation and the noise of the media, the noise of big business, the noise of politicians, the noise of whatever big institution that there is out there, and at the end of the day, we forget that we are all just people aiming to discover who we are. There are times where you'll be the person that hurts others and there'll be times where others hurt you, so you can't let that hold you back, because that is a part of the cycle of life. The purpose of forgiveness is that you finding inner peace, and that peace is truly freeing, because if you don't forgive yourself, think about how destructive that can be. You may think that by inflicting harm upon yourself, that is your penance, but it's not, because if you're hurting yourself, you're only going to hurt other people in the long run the people who love you. If they knew that you were being hurtful towards yourself, imagine how they would feel. You have to accept reality. When you face your demons and you overcome them, you have peace, and that peace isn't something that any other human being could ever take away from you. That is something that we should celebrate in life. Not politics, not the football game yeah, that's temporary gratification or whatnot, but inner peace, peace that is truly worth fighting for, the peace of loving yourself and accepting yourself for who you are and saying to yourself I messed up, but that's okay, because I'm growing as a person and the person who I was yesterday is not the same person that I am today. And whether or not other people believe me, the fact is I forgave me for me and no one on this planet is perfect. So why cause yourself harm because you made a mistake? Forgive yourself and let go.
Speaker 1:
Forgiveness isn't just about forgiving others that have done you wrong. It's about letting go so you can move forward. You can't move forward if you're holding onto what's behind you. It is impossible to move forward while looking backwards and moving backwards. It does not work. You can't want to walk forward but look backward and still be walking backwards. You're stuck. The goal is to keep moving forward and growing. There will always be mistakes to make, but our mistakes when we learn from them. Imagine the lessons that you get to teach others and the experience that you've gained by that. You can tell your younger sibling hey, listen, when I was your age, I went down this path and I hurt so many people. Don't make the same mistakes that I did. Maybe the one mistake that you've made may cause 10 people to not make that same mistake, or maybe those same 10 people make the mistake regardless. The fact of the matter is your insight that you bring will make a difference to others, because you've chosen to grow and learn from the harm that you've done. That is worth forgiving yourself for that peace.
Speaker 1:
There is an emotional and psychological burden of holding onto grudges and that toll that you have to pay by not letting go and not forgiving is not worth it. That's why I said earlier that forgiveness is really for you, because when you hold grudges because you haven't forgiven someone, now you're stressed. Now, when that person comes around, you're heated or you're constantly in that fight or flight mode. You're just not at peace. Now you have anxiety issues or you have a loud outburst or you have deep anger issues. You have to be resentful. Think about the collateral damage that that does in the wake of you holding onto something.
Speaker 1:
Sometimes we have to recognize that hurt is perceived. Sometimes it's not in every occurrence that when we're hurt that an individual made the decision to actually cause harm to us. There are times where people make mistakes too, because we're not perfect or we don't understand the consequences of our actions, to be able to distinguish between when someone is intentionally trying to hurt, cause harm, and knowing when something is a genuine mistake and sometimes it is our perception. That is the issue. It's not the other person. Sometimes, because we haven't forgiven ourselves, we have these triggers. So a person says something and now we're triggered. That person was the one that offended us. That person is the new villain that we've painted because we have not confronted our deepest fear or our deepest hurt. Not everyone that makes us cry is the bad guy, and when we don't forgive or learn to let go, it's easy to paint other people as the villain when maybe they're really the hero. Maybe they really are the hero and maybe we just need to get out of our feelings.
Speaker 1:
There is a liberation that comes with forgiving others. There is it's not only peace, but liberation, because if another individual can cause you to lash out, can cause you to be so angry or so sad or depressed, that means that person has power over your life. That person could be emotionally oppressing you and they don't even know that they have that power over you. So, by learning to forgive and letting go. That is the first time in some people's life that they've truly experienced freedom, freedom of thought and inner peace. And I will use the term peace a lot because peace is something that is so dear to me.
Speaker 1:
I personally don't like conflict in my life. I don't like drama. I love peace and I try to stay in peace as much as possible, and if there's a problem, I do try to rectify it or come to some form of resolution. And the fact of the matter is we're not all perfect. Other people are not perfect. We're not all on that same growth trajectory of life and human experiences. So how can all of us learn to not offend or not hurt when we've all had so many a plethora of human experiences in different cultures? Some cultures it's impolite to make eye contact and some cultures, if you don't make eye contact, it's extremely disrespectful. There's so many times that we're hurt by things that have nothing to do with us. We watch TV and now we hate someone. We listen to the news and now we're angry at another political party. Just let go Regain your freedom. Your freedom is worth way more than people you don't know. Peace is everything. Peace of mind is everything. The power of not being stressed out, not being actious, not being depressed. There's a power in all of that.
Speaker 1:
I want to share a story with everyone. Finally, I ran into a few people that I went to elementary school with, and middle school as well, and I and I, you know it allowed me to reflect and we talked and you know we're able to joke about things and you know people's perception of me at the time which, like I remember this very vividly in the character that I had to create to be the person that I am, because sometimes you have to not fake it till you make it, you have to fake it until you become it. You know, when I first came to America and I remember I had an accent and at the same time, you know, kids were mean, you know, like I remember I wore, you know, polo shirts and khaki pants and sparris, and obviously this is, you know, about 20 years ago, and you know kids just were just not polite. You know they called me like a preppy and things like that, and I didn't know what that meant culturally. You know, I just knew that there was a perception right, like whatever those things meant, or being called a nerd or what have you, and I remember getting into fights a lot too, because I was so proper that individuals would maybe thought that I was soft or something or that I was the one to try. And you know they, as the kids say, they found out Not saying that violence is always the answer, but sometimes when you're met with violence, you have no choice but to react with violence. And that was, you know who I was at that time. Because when people see you, you know at times you're polite and you're cordial and you're respectful and you're kind.
Speaker 1:
People may take that as a sign of weakness and I've learned, you know, in through years, that what people say while it may hurt at times, because feelings are a perception of a wound that was never healed, if I'm saying that correctly, you know the reason why those words bothered me so much when I was being picked on was because that was me being insecure about myself. That was no one else's insecurity, that was my insecurity, and I've had to learn to overcome that and realize that things only have power so long as I give them power and while that may be difficult to to acknowledge at times, it doesn't mean that things don't go on for us. So, long story short what I've came. I came to the understanding that each time that I would allow myself to react or to be deeply hurt by whatever it is that someone said to me and I had an outburst, I now realize that I let those individuals win and they won because their words changed me as a person and I remember, holding on to, you know, all of that anger for such a long time that it wasn't just about getting into fights, it was the fact that, you know, now I was changing as a person. And that whole, you know, dilemma, while it's not fun being picked on, it was also, you know, scary, because I was at this point in my life where, you know, alcanié was very big, you know 2004, he was very big. You know he dropped that song called Stronger, you know Better, stronger, faster. And you know, originally that was a Daft Punk song I love Daft Punk, by the way, shout out. And I remember first seeing Kanye and his way of thinking and I could identify with it and just saying that you know what, if I'm stronger than these people, if I'm faster than these people, how can I let them affect or offend me?
Speaker 1:
That was the mindset that I adopted because growing up, athletics was a very big part of my culture. You know, playing sports and having good grades were very, very important, and so you know, growing up in private schools where, you know, corporal punishment was a big thing, still coming here to the United States was easy. It was, you know, academics were easier and sports were easier. There was not the same level of competition. So I decided that I was going to break every single record at my school, whatever records. If there was a record for push-ups, I wanted the most push-ups. If there was a record, whatever the fastest mile run was, I wanted to destroy that. Whatever, whoever the top student was at that time, I wanted to make myself the top student. And so this character was awoken in me that I was going to be the best at every single thing and I was going to crush every single thing.
Speaker 1:
And while I was crushing everything, I was also crushing all the people's spirits around me by becoming this character. And, of course, in the moment, that was a reaction. And I was also young, right, so I'm like 11 years old at this time, but that was the thing that I was like, if I do this, and I just showed everyone just how much better I was, no one would ever dare to even imagine that they would even try to pick on me. That thought would never come across their mind. And so it worked, except now I isolated myself because I did have friends. When people would say the things that were unkind, I had friends, I had people who would try to defend me.
Speaker 1:
But the moment that I decided to crush everything, I didn't realize that I was crushing everyone. And I learned that the burden of trying to just hold on to anger and hold on to resentment for others because I didn't forgive was something that was very detrimental. And I've had to go through that process and that cycle of hurt to become the person that I am today, because when I see that in younger people I can lend an ear and I could also add a word, and I do have a penny for my thoughts. So, yes, I was the good kid that became the bad guy, that became the good guy again. And that is my story of just realizing that, hey, if you hold on to something long enough, it either destroys you or you become the thing that you fear the most. And I became the thing that I feared the most. I became the bad guy. I was the villain.
Speaker 1:
But my chapter wasn't over and I've learned and I've grown as a human being and now I can be the humble leader, be the humble husband, the humble friend, and know that at any moment there is a great satisfaction in being the person that people want to be around and people want to listen to, versus being the person that everyone is just like man gotta stay away from that guy. You know you don't want to be that person. And when you, when you learn to just let go to live and let live and you hold on to the essence of who you are at your core. If you are the artist, be the artist, paint, write poems, whatever. If you are the mathematician, equals MC square. Be that.
Speaker 1:
People can try to diminish your worth and your value, but at the end of the day, who you are at your core isn't worth changing because you're holding on to something that isn't yours to bear. That burden is not your cross to carry. So let it go and be who you are always meant to be. Forgive yourself and love yourself, because you have this one life to live. Do you want to live this life being burdened by something that is not yours to carry?